Kneeler-In-Chief Colin Kaepernick and 11 of his friends were turned away from the gates at the Super Bowl after trying to pass forged tickets. Initially, police were called to deal with the situation, but they soon realized Kaepernick wasn’t the culprit. He purchased the tickets online.
“One would think someone with knowledge of football would know how football tickets work,” said Guest Relations Coordinator at ALLOD Stadium Joe Barron, “These things wouldn’t have passed for a regular season game at half capacity, nevermind the Super Bowl.”
Kaepernick paid nearly $100K for the tickets, which makes no difference. “He doesn’t have real tickets, so he doesn’t get a seat.”
The former player was scheduled to head a protest at the 50-yard-line on the visitor side, Aisle 11, which was immediately canceled. His fake tickets included free entry to the pre-game VIP party, which they also denied him access to.
“That was mostly because there isn’t one,” said Barron, “we were just as surprised as he was.”
It only seems fitting that Kaepernick would get hit with karma like this. His friends, guilty by association, learned a valuable lesson themselves. When you side with a leftist, you’re bound to end up in the Dunning-Kruger Times.