It’s Over: Bud Light “Removed From The Roster” at Anheuser Busch

Anheuser Busch isn’t just losing sales. It’s losing money. A lot of money.

Bud Light has plummeted across the country, but it suffers most in red states, where real Americans make companies pay for wokeness. Not only is the brand flailing in sales, but the company is also now forced to buy back all the expired beer that’s been sitting around since early April.

“We’re looking at losses in the billions when this is all said and done,” said the company’s newly-hired marketing director, Joe Barron, “there’s just no way the company can possibly continue this way.”

Barron says they will phase out Bud Light by the end of the year, with its final production run coming at the end of the third quarter. “We’ll use that stock through the Christmas season and be done with it.”

There you have it, patriots. Living proof that boycotts do, in fact, work. If we keep it up, the whole company will probably go under, just like Nike, Ford, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Yeti, And the other 845 things we’ve sworn off this week over rainbows.

At some point, they’ll all learn that nothing makes real Americans more upset than brightly-colored things. We’ll take camo trucks and dark sunglasses over pink shirts and tucking panties any day, patriots, and that’s what makes us special.

Related Posts

Guinness Vacates Lia Thomas’ World Records After International Backlash

Last week, the Guinness Book of World Records announced that it would add an asterisk next to Lia Thomas’ eleven world records. After backlash from sporting authorities…

Scott Baio Signs $14 Million Deal to Play “Chachi” in a New “Happy Days” Storyline

Scott Baio has taken a lot of heat over the years for playing a “cheesy” character on “Happy Days.” Chachi, the troublemaking teenager, was a fan favorite…

Scott Baio’s “Anti-Woke” Charles in Charge Reboot is a Go

“Charles in Charge” is coming back, and it won’t be just another “woke” reboot of an old classic. Scott Baio, the original star and the producer of…

Garth Brooks Booed Off Stage at 123rd Annual Texas Country Jamboree

When Garth Brooks took the stage at the 123rd Annual Texas Country Jamboree in Hambriston, the famous farm of the Barron Cattle Empire, he didn’t expect to…

Fact-Check: TRUE! – Tesla is Suing the Crap Out of Alyssa Milano

Internet sources claim that Elon Musk filed a $200 million lawsuit against Alyssa Milano for defamation. The suit, on behalf of Tesla, is in response to Milano’s…

Typically Sold-Out Garth Brooks Plays to a Half-Empty Arena: “It Was Embarrassing”

When country superstar Garth Brooks puts on a show, it typically sells out. Seats almost always sell in the secondary market for thousands. Last night, the singer…